Date:

3 April 2007

Time:

 17:08 

Comments

Hi!

I was told by my husband about this site. He was in the army as a medic and has served in the Gulf war, Bosnia and N.I. He has been diagnosed with ptsd, but is struggling to get proper help. He has been on so many different medications that we have lost the count, and none of them has worked. We have two little children who is 4 yrs and the other one is 5 months. We are also newlywed.

It is really hard living with a person with ptsd, especially when you have no one to talk to about it cause there is no/one who understands anyways.

We also live in a foreign country, and ptsd is never heard of here. I really need someone to talk to who is in the same situation with a loved one who has ptsd. I think it would help a lot. Email me on janhaugo@online.no

Thank you so much for this site, it really helps reading all the comments.

Also if anyone could give me some advice on how to help my husband please email me

Thank you so much!!

Jenny

 

Date:

4 April 2007

Time:

 00:58 

Comments

Hi, I am like most veterans one of the many who are suffering from PTSD, which occurred back in 1994.  Then not a great deal as of thousand of other people who suffered. Little was known of our illness. What happened in my case was I was coming to the end of my long service career spanning 32 years. My whole life was military oriented I knew of only the forces. Then in a twinkle of an eye. I was a civilian. Forced on me by the large cuts in military manpower. No thought was given to how to cope with life in civy street. In other words I was never deprogrammed to this new life, I will not bore you with how I coped enough to say I now visit and I am grateful of that Audley Court six weeks a year. I believe with a bit of forethought my case and many like me could have been avoided?

 

Date:

9 April 2007

Time:

 07:42 

Comments

Hello, I spent 5 months in intensive care with my baby son and saw lots of very sick babies, a few of which died whilst I was there, I saw my son suffer hugely and he died of cardiac failure in front of me, I thought I was fine, but a month later just fell to bits, I was angry with the world, couldn't go anywhere and suffered from intrusive thoughts, I am recovered now thanks to lots of CBT and therapy, my advice is if you need help, don't be shy - ASK FOR IT.

GREAT WEBSITE BY THE WAY

Jon McInerney

London SE21

 

Date:

13 April 2007

Time:

 13:44 

Comments

Hi

Just to let you know that there was a good clinical review of PTSD in today's British Medical Journal. It mentions this website. It is good to know that GPs are being exposed to up to date educational literature. It also reviews a book 'afterwards' by Rachel Seiffert. The book looks fascinating.

Many thanks for a great website- it helped me greatly to realising what was really wrong when healthcare professionals were labelling me as depressed. Yes, I am currently serving and developed ptsd after 2 unrelated service incidents occurred in quick succession. A.

 

Date:

2 May 2007

Time:

 13:04 

Comments

Hi again Andy,

Over the last few days I’ve been reading through the entire guestbook archive. I’m awestruck by what you’ve managed to achieve with this site. I really hope that knowing how many people you’ve helped helps offset some of the pain you suffer as a result of PTSD.

Mac, it was me that left the message for you. Glad to hear you got through such a diffiulct time of year.

I love to read the comments on here, as like so many others have said, it helps get over the feeling of isolation. I sincerely hope everyone is doing as well as possible.

If anyone wants to talk further via emails, then feel free to send me one at samwem@yahoo.com

Be well everyone.

Mark.

Thanks Mark, you know there are many a day when I really struggle with life and keeping things going and even picking up emails seems so hard at times but it is the kind words and comments from yourself and others through my website that make me know that I am needed and need to keep going. 

Many thanks again and take care

Andy

 

Date:

3 May 2007

Time:

 20:59 

Comments

I have had ptsd for 15 yrs,but only had treatment for the last 5.I go to T House 3 times a year and it has been a great help. But as the webmaster says it takes the first 2 years to get used to the House,but for those who resist the temptation to leave early or not return,the time will come when you will be counting the days down till your next visit.

 

Date:

6 May 2007

Time:

 13:35 

Comments

Great site. I have suffered with PTSD and OCD for 10 years but didn't want to seek help from a doctor, but read up about the conditions which helped to an extent. I started going for weekly acupuncture sessions with a Chinese doctor 7 months ago, I have also been prescribed herbal medicine and I have really noticed a difference, especially with my ability to cope with/control stressful feelings. I would recommend it, I believe the cost for acupuncture treatment can be paid for by the NHS in the UK.

Best of luck to everyone trying to get better.

 

Date:

15 May 2007

Time:

 16:48 

Comments

Just thought I'd share some thoughts.

My partner walked out on me last year, totally out of the blue and following back to back tours in Iraq / A'stan and with 20 years service in Army.

I witnessed an unprecedented change in his behaviour. He was a caring, loving man who suddenly and with no warning just ran away from us all. He couldn't admit to needing help, he was a senior officer and things like this didn't happen to men like him ! He detached himself from me, the kids, life in general. His reason was that he couldn't bear to put us through the shit he was going through so it was easier to run away than have to confront it all.

12 months later he has finally been diagnosed with PTSD and is finally getting the help he needs to deal with this.

I was pushed away but never detached myself from him because I guessed that it was PTSD and could see things he couldn't. We are now starting to see him re-emerge. Not sure if we can make a new start together but regardless he is getting himself back together which is great to see.

PTSD impacts in a huge way on family and friends as well as the sufferer and can ruin lives. Help is available, take it if you can !

 

Date:

15 May 2007

Time:

 23:09 

Comments

Hi

having served my community for over 10 years as a Constable I've just been diagnosed with PTSD.  I knew things were wrong with me as my appetite to serve my community began to fail.  I put this down to various experience such as Fatal Road Traffic Accidents, threaten with guns, knives, violence and whistle blowing on corrupt practice and then being isolated. Then my worse experience of all and the most freighting incident I've ever faced my attempt to commit suicide off a bridge one night after late turn.  My children that night saved my life whilst they slept in their beds, but myself, I wished I had jumped as I felt I could regain control of my life once again, but I failed.  Now I am still going through this nightmare and I dislike what the public have done to me and my failed marriages.  But I am still here. I raise my hat to all you brave people who have served Queen and Country and a faceless Public.  With you all I know it just time before I beat this I don't know what price I will pay on this journey but Good must conquer evil. I've seen a Counsellor for 12 weeks and she is great and we talk and many times cry

 

Date:

21 May 2007

Time:

 23:24 

Comments

I would just like to say well done to you for doing a web site for ptsd which my father has due to serving in the army at least you put the time in for servicemen/women unlike others.

best wishes Sarah

 

Date:

25 May 2007

Time:

 13:35 

Comments

Andy,

Just found your website and l find it very informative also very well presented. I am a sufferer of PTSD and lived with it for 36 years. I did not start getting proper treatment for it until 2 years ago when l found COMBAT STRESS, l attend Hollybush House which is just outside Ayr in Scotland.  The treatment l receive is both EMDR and CBT, and with this treatment l am now starting to understand my problems. These people are experts in the field of dealing with PTSD, and any ex-servicemen or women should get in touch with COMBAT STRESS.

Hi Chris, please could you email me Andy@ptsd.org.uk so we can discus the other issues you raised?  

 

Date:

01 June 2007

Time:

 11:07 

Comments

Dear Editor

After what I have gone through in life, I have coined the following phrase:

You wouldn't be normal if you didn't react in an abnormal way 

Robert D Dangoor (Robert@1liners.com)

 

Date:

05 June 2007

Time:

 01:31 

Comments

hi Andy

saw your site a few months ago and it was a god send to my understanding my partners problems became so clear since then he has seen 2 therapists neither of witch seem to have helped they just seem to twist everything and tell him he is progressing but things have got no better and he is still not allow on duty what more can we do

This is something that needs time, I know that is perhaps not what you want to hear right now but you need to try and trust these people if they are the only way forward in getting your partner back on duty.  I cannot comment on them but if you would like to talk more please email me and we can talk in confidence?

 

Date:

12 June 2007

Time:

 08:32 

Comments

My story is probably like most I suffered a near death experience whilst on a training exercise and from that day I never been the same. After the accident I went awol and then went to Colchester when I came out I went back to my unit and felt I couldn't handle being there and went awol again resulting in being back in Colchester. I went through the same process once more after this and this was all in a year and at no time did anyone in the army think that there might be something wrong. So the last time I came out of Colchester I decided I'm not going back to my unit so I lived on the streets for 18 months in central London where I began to use drink and drugs...I ended up in rehab and the army found out I was in rehab and decided to discharge me only when I admitted to using class A drugs, I was discharged with snlr.

Since then I have battled through everyday life for seven years until last year I got in touch with combat stress where I went in March and was diagnosed with ptsd and feel after my journey there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Yes I have bad days but knowing what's wrong with me has helped and speaking to other sufferers has been one of my main helps and reading comments on this site. There is help out there and really good help from my experience of combat stress so if you haven't got in touch with them then you should think about it

 

Date:

12 June 2007

Time:

 21:21 

Comments

Hi

I found your web site last night, after having a very bad day and once again asking for help and none was given, the doc just told me I was suffering from the depression, here have some anti depressants. It makes me so angry that you don't get listened to.

I have had PTSD for 12 years now, so I know what it is all about, I know what my trigger points are but it's not really having anyone to talk to about it, who really understands how you are feeling that gets to me.

I am so pleased to have found this site.

cathi

 

Date:

14 June 2007

Time:

 21:42 

Comments

Hi Andy, Like many others just found your website, have been a vet 12 yrs now after serving 20 yrs. Married and living abroad learnt new language and job quite quickly few yrs later couple of children, and then BANG!!! A lot of symptoms you describe are now common in my lovely new character have seen local doctor am on medication. Luckily for me the Doc was a former vet himself helped, but still feel very isolated outside U.K. Think the site first rate keep up the good work, am thinking of the others out there, if people can think together we can understand together!! I shall think of glass jar every day!!

 

Date:

15 June 2007

Time:

 14:10 

Comments

Hi there I was in the army from 1989 to 1997 I joined an infantry regiment and done four tours of Ireland. On one of the tours our base was morterd. I also did special forces operation it was after I came back home I could not rest and had problems sleeping it was at this point I used cannabis to help to relieve my tension. I was drug tested and thrown out the army within 2 weeks with out a court marshal all kept Quite. I have had many job since the army and feel I don't fit in with others. It is only now I am beginning to understand what PTSD is. Thank you for this web site

 

Date:

17 June 2007

Time:

 00:56 

Comments

Found your site one night late - Ex Royal Sigs + extra bits! many tours of N.I, lost several mates and got out in the end back to my home (N.I!) took me many years to get it all out of my head and not the sort of thing you can discuss here. I despair for our young men and women who risk their lives each day in the forces with little or no support. Prayer helped me greatly and I pray that all who come to your site can leave afterwards knowing that people exist who care deeply for them. God keep you all safe!

Skyjack

 

Date:

25 June 2007

Time:

 16:51 

Comments

Thanks Andy for the advice, I've taken the first step which i suppose is the hardest, got a G.P appt Friday. Cheers, Patrick.

Patrick, if I can be of any further help please do not hesitate to contact me again.  I wish you well for the future my friend, Andy

 

Date:

6 July 2007

Time:

 16:44 

Comments

Hi,

I am an ex naval service woman, who was in a terrible RTA whilst on active duty in 2005. I suffered a server nervous breakdown due to the accident and the bullying I received from senior rates during the investigation. I have always maintained my innocence in the accident and still do. However I ended up in the priory hospital for 7 months nearly which was the darkest and hardest part of my life ever. I would like to thank the staff at the priory in Bristol for their constant support and Dr McGowan at Royal Hospital Hasler for her EMDR treatment and always believing in me. I am fighting for better care for PTSD suffers in the armed forces as I believe there is nowhere near enough help and support available, the MOD has to wake up and do something about this terrible illness

Hannah Walker

 

Date:

13 July 2007

Time:

 15:55 

Comments

I am researching a book in which the main character suffers from PTSD and have found your site extremely helpful. I wish everyone reading and posting here a better tomorrow

 

Date:

16 July 2007

Time:

 10:26 

Comments

your page is just ace

thank you from Robin James

new holland north lincs

 

Date:

16 July 2007

Time:

 16:53 

Comments

I am living with my partner now for about 5 years, he is a veteran, NI, Falklands, Iraq and god knows what else. I cant take it any longer, he goes into terrible rages, my life has been reduced to nil, no contact from family members, no social life, even my own children don't want to come home to visit, I don't even what to return from work in the evening, it causes me to dread it. My family all avoid this distressing situation and why not, this is my fault, he just gets drunk and starts on the abuse and thankfully not physical, it could be about anything, it is destroying me mentally and spiritually and I cant take it any more. I know he is suffering but he wont seek help, he says how can anyone take away what is in his head, he said that he is destroyed in himself. Yet he can hold down a job and is doing very well, but his employers or his colleagues don't know about this, I shudder to think what they would say if the knew what was going on. Moreover I wonder what other partners do in situations like this. I know that deep down he is a lovely person, but is this victim mentality in me hoping for the best? because every time he rages I just want to finish with him. He can erupt any day and the weekends without fail, those days are the worst. In any case I have decided enough is enough, I have to save myself for my own children and for myself because there will be 2 people who will become ill if I don't make this decision.

there are so many of you who are suffering and something needs to be done about it as it is destroying relationships and families all across the country. I am sorry that I cant be steadfast, don't know any way to deal with it.

I do not usually publish entries like this because I feel that they are too personal, however I think that this provides such a strong message that I just had to publish it.  The first is that people should never put themselves or there families at risk in any situation and secondly life is hard for us but also incredibly hard for our partners and PTSD can destroy even the strongest marriages or relationships.  

I just wish that the government and MOD would stop fooling themselves that things are getting better.  I have had more hits on my website so far this year than I did in the whole of last year.

 

Date:

23 July 2007

Time:

 22:41 

Comments

This is for Mark Sammy. Please get in touch again. Worried that i have not spoke to you for ages. Are you ok.You know my e-mail address so please contact me.

 

Date:

25 July 2007

Time:

 16:17 

Comments

Hello Andy My name is Mike and I served for eight years I never went to the gulf only NI. I have mood swings I carnt sleep and I am detached from family and so called friends. I looked at your site and some of my probs are listed. Only my wife knows that I suffer in me head. I keep quite they wouldn't believe me my problems are trivial. so I crack on thank you for letting write this.

Mike your GP will believe you and you should go to him/her to get the help that you desperately need.  No matter how trivial you feel you may be your health and life is far more important than pride or questioning others without giving them an opportunity to help you first.  Take care my friend, Andy

 

Date:

3 August 2007

Time:

 14:55 

Comments

I am in shock at the number of people who are here. I served for 8 years in the military and was in Bosnia, Northern Ireland, Germany and UK. Life was really good to start with then I don't know where it went wrong. I attempted suicide in Northern Ireland and then again in Germany, before being discharged from HM Forces. I had experience in the Psychiatric units in NHS hospitals, Catterick and Wegburg, Germany. Before it happened to me, I used to be one of those guys who riduiculed people and slated them. If only I knew then the desperation, lack of control and how they were feeling. Now I am 5 years out and 6 since the last suicide attempt. I have bad days, but now have a full management career earning decent money. I feel let down by the Military and the ridicule and patronising, but have to thank the social worker from SSAFA in NI who identified the issues with me and persuaded me to get help, unfortunately it was too late and 3 weeks later I attempted to kill myself but at least she tried. Until the taboo about mental health issues are banished this will continue. Have all voices unite as one and stand up in public and be counted.

 

Date:

13 August 2007

Time:

 18:11 

Comments

Hi Andy

We haven't exchanged emails for a very long time now...I found your site way back. I think you are doing great work here and your site has improved even more each time I visit and even upon my first visit I found it helpful and informative!

Take care

Pam P

 

Date:

14 August 2007

Time:

 13:04 

Comments

Hello all, gulf war at 17 man here (6 march). I sought help soon after I posted that message and with the help of a sympathetic doctor and a fantastic counsellor I've come out the other side. Its not easy but help is out there, the only thing we can do is talk to people who have been through the same experiences- it wont make it all go away but at least you know that you're not alone.

If anyone wants to talk at anytime email me: hjn960@aol.com

Andy- if you ever need help feel free to contact me, I know your busy and with guys coming back from Iraq now, you're probably going to get busier!

Thanks for the site

Simon.

 

Date:

22 August 2007

Time:

 20:03 

Comments

Andy I am sitting here in tears, I think I now understand why I have reacted so irrationally to my own relationship problems. in April 2003 I was with my closest friend when her ex partner poured acid on my car, she begged me not to get out but I did. I UNLOCKED THE DOORS. he then jumped in my car and brutally stabbed her, she died. I think I may have ptsd. I was being treated for depression but then they wanted to change to post natal depression counselling instead all they have ever done is mess me about. I recently went back to my doctor and he advised me to self refer myself to mind. but I think I will go back and suggest looking into ptsd.

many thanks Louise

Louise, MIND is a very good place to start.  They will be able to give you solid advice and have access to counsellors who may be able to help.  If they also agree with PTSD then this would be very good advice to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to your local Community Mental Health team. 

I really hope you get the help and support you need.  If you want to email me direct please do Andy@ptsd.org.uk

 

Date:

30 August 2007

Time:

10:16 

Comments

Great site , great help , but after 25 years i still struggle sometimes , seems like yesterday Andy ex 5 airborne brigade

 

Date:

03 September 2007

Time:

23:16 

Comments

I think anyone can be a victim of this horrible feeling. Soldiers, Nurses, Coppers, the list goes on.  Lets hope that people in charge will recognise that a bad experience can really bugger up your life.  I don't fall into any of the afore mentioned groups although I can feel what people are going through. Love from Scotland

 

Date:

12 September 2007

Time:

22:47 

Comments

I'm only 16, I am suffering from ptsd really badly and had it for the last few months because something really really disturbing happened to me, I always look things up on the internet and I came across this site, I found it very reassuring when I looked at the stuff, I am only young and people must go through worst but its not a nice thing to go through, I've also become very depressive about everything, I just want to say that my heart does go out to all you people out there that are suffering from ptsd I know exactly what your going through. I came back from the doctors today and have been referred to cognitive behaviour therapy which is supposed to be good.

 

Date:

18 September 2007

Time:

09:59 

Comments

Hi Andy. Thanks for taking the time to do what you do, your site rocks Dude!!! I just wish I'd found it earlier!!

Like many of you, I've served my Queen and Country (40 Commando RM) and been involved in operations all across the globe trying to do the best I could and make a difference. In return I've taken human lives, been spat on by schoolchildren in NI, shot at, shelled, despised, ridiculed and rejected. All bad?? Not really: it goes with the job, so I'm told........

but I'm lucky, it never really affected me badly. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who've been Unlucky.

However, I've suffered with PTSD now for nearly 3 years, not as a result of my Service but whilst attending a fatal RTA for a civilian employer.

Since then I became an alcoholic, became obsessed with suicide, walked away from my friends and family and finally had my contract of employment terminated because I'd taken 3 months off work in 2 years!!!! I HAD NO HELP WHATSOEVER FROM THEM. EVER!!! I lost everything I ever had. I lost my life and I lost myself. I've woken every day (when I could sleep) into a living Hell. Sound familiar?? I thought so.

BUT...... I chanced on a GP who actually cared about ME in a system that doesn't. She saved me from me!! I've treated the woman who loves me in the most disgusting way for two years, I even tried to kill her, but she never let go and always kept the faith. She saved my life and as a result I'm slowly clawing my life back inch by precious inch. It'll NEVER be the same, I've hurt everyone who cares about me. But at least I'm alive and I pray I can have a future.

For all of you parents, partners, friends or children of someone with PTSD I promise you there's hope and I beg you all not to give up on us. When we can't feel any more, when we can't fight any more and when we can't shout for help any more please, please don't give up on us. Hate what we've become, but love the person still trapped inside. We're still in there, and we need you. Always. Anyone wanting to e-mail can get in touch on Tiger181268@aol.com Yours in hope, every day. Gordon.

 

Date:

19 September 2007

Time:

21:31 

Comments

Hi Andy,

I was in the RAF for 15 years. I broke up with my partner after our son was born and for the last 5 years of my service I was a single parent. In January 03 I was sent on a short notice detachment and whilst there I was subject to intense bullying, sexual harassment and victimisation for the whole 4 months. I became anxious and very depressed, I was constantly on my guard and afraid and these feelings have never left me. I feel worthless and no-one has ever said sorry, which was all that I wanted.

I successfully sued the MOD and was awarded compensation. I was medically discharged from the RAF (without a pension) in Oct 06. Since then I have suffered anxiety and depression and have been referred to a mental health centre. I have taken anti-depressants for the last 2 years. I have a mental health counsellor there and he says it is a lack of confidence and inability to be assertive that is my problem. I have been going there for over a year and don't feel any better. I don't feel that he understands me and what I have been through and how I feel now. When I read you site I cried, it was as if a light had been turned on and I thought

Hi, unfortunately not all your guestbook entry came through!  If you would like to send in the rest of the submission I will of course add it to the above to complete it for you.  I hope that you can use the information and tools within my website to help you in the coming months and in turn help you get through this difficult period in your life.  If you wish to talk confidentially please email me

Andy

 

Date:

20 September 2007

Time:

14:46 

Comments

Andy,

Keep at it mate!  25 years on from the Falklands and suffering.  Lost my ship down there and starting to realise lost a big chunk of myself as well!

First visit from Combat Stress next week has blown my usual strategy of putting her to bed every year.

This year has been a nightmare actually facing up to a problem and asking for help. 

Without your website might not have admitted the problem!

Once again Keep up the Good work!

Cheers

Another Andy

Andy, Combat Stress are excellent people and help thousands of service men and women from all 3 services, you are in good hands with them please do not get too worried.  If you get the chance of a visit to one of there treatment centres, give it a go.

 

Date:

20 September 2007

Time:

23:25 

Comments

Hi Andy, you sent me another message through the guestbook but I have not published it as I thought that maybe you wanted a confidential reply?  If you email me Andy@ptsd.org.uk we can chat about things personally and confidentially.  I cannot reply directly as I do not have your email address.  Look forward to hearing from you soon and please remember you are not alone and help is there.  Andy

 

Date:

21 September 2007

Time:

10:04 

Comments

This site really helps, not only for service men, but there partners as well. PTSD is a real struggle, not just for those who suffered in any conflict, but for the families that they came home too no matter how long ago the conflict was.

 

Date:

28 September 2007

Time:

22:39 

Comments

Hi Tash, you left me a message via the guestbook tonight (Friday 28th Sept) which I have not published.  

This is not because you are not an ex-service veteran (although I did set up this website for ex-service men and women, many many people contact me who are not ex-service veterans and get help from the info within the website), but instead I felt that the message was very personal and that maybe it would be better that if you need to talk you can email me direct at Andy@ptsd.org.uk for information and a chat?

Please get in touch, I may not have all the answers but I will try and help and advise you as best I can and at least having someone to talk to may be a real help?  Speak soon,  Andy

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Definition

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. It is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.